


I’m Sorry

by mycatbringsmedeadrodents



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Graphic, Hurt Jake Peralta, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22165012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycatbringsmedeadrodents/pseuds/mycatbringsmedeadrodents
Summary: Jake is not having a good day.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 12
Kudos: 121





	I’m Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Please be warned this is quite graphic and depressing. Please do not read if you think it make negativly effect you.

The last time Jake was in this particular situation was back at the academy. Sure he had got close but never quite this. Amy knew of course, it wasn’t exactly discreet, but he thanked whoever may be listening every day for the fact he’d kept his arms reasonably clean making his life a whole lot easier. There was nothing you would notice if you weren’t looking for it, this however was about to change Jake thought as he was currently sitting on the cold tiled floor of his and Amy’s bathroom with one of their kitchen knives on the floor in front of him. He felt bad using a knife they used for food but he does all the cooking anyway so he’ll just make sure he avoids using that one until he can replace it. He was not exactly excited for Amy’s inevitable reaction but he was past his breaking point and if it wasn’t this it would be something else. At least this way he would be the one in control.

When he was finished the reality of what he’d done set in. All the years he had managed to stay clean thrown out the window in a matter of minutes. Yes it made him feel better in the moment but now he was left some very visible, permanent scars and a bloody mess to clean up. He sighed standing up slowly with the support of the radiator beside him stretching out his back from sitting still for too long. Amy would be home soon and he didn’t want to make it more difficult for her than it would already be. Grabbing some loo roll he wrapped it tightly around his arm to stop the blood getting everywhere. Wetting some more he wiped up the blood that got on the floor and flushed it. As he turned to rinse the knife in the sink he noticed his appearance, and fuck did he look like shit. His skin was pale and eyes dark and sunken. On any other day he thought, he would be very excited about how much he looked like a vampire.

Scanning the bathroom one last time he takes the knife to the kitchen to wash it properly and put it away so Amy wouldn’t notice. After pulling on a long sleeved shirt and one of his hoodies he sat down on the sofa and put on Die Hard, but even John McClane couldn’t distract him from his absolute dread of what would happen when Amy eventually found out. He could possibly get away with it for a couple of days but Amy would soon get suspicious even if she wasn’t an amazing detective. His thoughts were interrupted however by the key turning in the lock. Amy was home and he was well and truly fucked.

’Hey babe, how was your day?’ He felt his voice shake but hoped it went unnoticed.

‘Oh, nothing too exciting. Did you enjoy your day off?’ ‘Just watched Die Hard it was great,’ he knew that if he had to speak again his voice would betray him.

‘Sounds great babe,’ Amy smiled walking over to the bathroom probably to shower after her days work. He tried to smile back but he thinks it came out as more of a grimace. Once the bathroom door closed he exhaled. He hadn’t notice he’d been holding his breath but it sure did feel great to breath again. Just as he had started to calm down a bit the bathroom door opened he turned to look at Amy, her hair was dry and she was still in her work clothes.

She knew. Her eyes scanned his body. He was frozen in place like a deer in the head lights. Amy slowly walked toward him and lowered herself onto her knees in front of him taking his hands in hers she searched his face for answers. They had been in this position before, last year just after Jake got back from prison, but Amy had gotten there soon enough to stop him before it happened. But this time she was too late if the spot of blood on the bathroom wall was anything to go by.

‘Where is it babe?’ She questioned the sadness embedded deep in her voice. No answer. He was just staring at the wall just to the right of her hair. ‘Jake? Please.’ Her hands still holding his he nudged his left arm forward slightly. She smiled sadly ‘Thank you sweetheart.’ Still holding his hand she started to roll his sleeves with the other confirming her fears she revealed bloody toilet roll clumsily wrapped around his wrist. She glanced up at Jakes face, his eyes were glazed over and were still fixed upon the same point on the wall. Amy put one hand to the side of his face for a moment as an attempt at comforting him. Turning her attention back to the matter at hand she started to peel of the sodden paper. Horrified she discovered multiple wound all at the borderline of needing stitches. ‘Jake...Babe..I.,’

‘I know what I’m doing,’ he mumbled.

‘Sorry?’

‘I know what I’m doing,’ he repeated louder eyes glancing across hers for a moment before turning away again.

‘I know Jake that’s what worry’s me,’ She sighs.

‘I’m sorry.’

**Author's Note:**

> If you are struggling please talk to someone about it it can help so much wether it is a friend or a professional.
> 
> Also if anyone has any promts please send them to me as I have no imagination


End file.
